Kindness Moves Us to Intervene

Kindness is often seen as small gestures towards strangers such as paying for someone’s coffee or helping carry someone’s groceries.
But couldn’t, or better yet, shouldn’t our definition go beyond that?
What if we were to reclaim the definition of kindness?
What it we could transform it from a word that evokes fluffy pastel images, to one of sacrifice and determination?

Right now in Yemen there is a violent and deadly conflict going on. Cities are under attack, people are dying and many more are being significantly injured.
A civil engineering student, Nisma Alozebi decided she could no longer, “sit home and do nothing.”
With their local hospital under staffed, low on supplies and water, Nisma decided she had to intervene. She had not had any medical training, but went to the hospital anyway to help in any way she could.
When asked how she felt after seeing her first badly injured patient she said she, “cried like a baby” but was then able to help in the care of the thousands of injured people. (Read more of her account here)

Kindness sees the atrocities around us, and can not help but to move into action, to help those in need.

Kindness does not have limitations. Kindness does not seek out people who fit our ideas of who is worthy of our kindness, but instead helps those right in front of us.

In Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan there was an injured man on the side of the road. He had been beaten, robbed and left for dead. As people walked past him, ignoring the needs right in front of them this man surely would have started to lose hope.
Being in need, surrounded by capable people unwilling to help you would, and has left me feeling hopless.
In Nasim’s case, her kindness shows her countrymen that they as a community are not without hope, that together they can make it through the desperate times.
In Jesus’ parable, the beaten man was losing hope not only in humanity’s ability to care for people in need, but also his hope to survive.
By intervening in the lives of those around us, and even the lives we have the ability to touch around our world, we are delivering hope.

Kindness is not just an act of momentary pleasantries, but an intervention in someone’s life to fill their need and offer them hope.

How About You?
Who around you needs hope that you could provide with an act of kindness?

Next week I am looking forward to bringing a story of extreme kindness!

– Esther Aspling :-)


Patience Is Wisdom in Action

It may seem like a contradiction to say that patience is an action, but I believe that it may be one of the hardest actions to take!

When we are talking about patience as a form of love (as referenced in 1 Corinthians 13:4), we do the word a great diservice and essentially neuter it’s meaning when we think of it only in terms of momentary calmness or holding back anger in annoying or frustrating situations. The word in Greek, makróthumos can be broken down into two parts; makro meaning long, in distance or time and thumos meaning passion or fury. They come together to mean something like a long game. In essence, not worrying about winning every battle, but looking at the entire war.

In C.S. Lewis’ book “Perelandra” the main character, Ransom, travels to Venus and meets the first woman of the planet. In their conversation she refers to the passage of time, even just a few minutes, as making her older and thus gaining in knowledge each moment. Her outlook on age was not just that of a passage of time but also of distance, such that a person is able to see a situation better the farther away in time they are from it.

The 20th century saw many moral battles, one of the largest being that of apartheid in South Africa. This separation of races meant native South Africans were under enormous oppression. They were not able to utilize the same services or benefits of their white counterparts, to travel freely, obtain a fair education, live anywhere they chose or attain to achieve any status. The most distinguished and educated black man was looked at as being less than the worst white man in the country.
Nelson Mandela, a native South African, did not always see the oppression around him. It wasn’t until he went away for school that he began to see the backwards system he was living in. He saw not only that it was wrong, but that he could and should do something to change the country that he loved. He saw that his country would end in ruin if he did not do something to change the system that favored a minority and oppressed the majority.
But rather than looking for a method to change his country over night, throwing South Africa into a civil war, he recognized the need to bring about change slowly. His love for his country was greater than his need to be right, to attain power or status. He spent the greater part of his life playing the slow game. He spoke to small groups of people, initiated political protests and waited for the right moment for each and every action.
Even during his 27 years in prison, Nelson Mandela only grew in wisdom, and was able to look at each problem he encountered with patience, choosing to either act or wait until a more appropriate time for the best effect. Ultimately his long game brought unity to his country, and overthrew the apartheid he had fought against for decades.

Patience is valuing the object more than the outcome. When you value a person more than your mission or personal goals you are in active patience. Recognizing when to use patience as a tool requires wisdom. The Bible says that God will give us wisdom should we ask for it, which I wholeheartedly believe. However, what we seldom think about is saving this wisdom, like we do knowledge. A lot of times patience requires self control, withholding words or actions. It is wisdom then that we use to decide whether to take or withhold action.

Then there is the object. For Nelson Mandela it was South Africa. He loved his nation and did not want to act foolishly and lose it to war. For us, it can be a spouse, job, children or friends. It is our love for this person or position that pushes us to practice active wisdom, patience, in order to save our relationships and organizations.
Rather than choosing to be right in every situation, arguing to prove your point or being inflexible to those around you, we can choose to be patient, and to see the person as more important than the immediate situation. It is through this active patience that we can find the best outcomes for all, without sacrificing the people around us along the journey.


How About You? Where in your life could you use active wisdom, patience?

Did you miss last week’s post? Find it Here! Love is Patient

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See you next week!!

Esther :-)


Love is Patient

There is this saying in the Christian world about patience, “don’t pray for patience, because then God will give you more situations to practice patience.”

I did not always know this, and as is often the mistake of first time parents reaching the toddler years, I mistakingly uttered this prayer.

And man, my children have helped grow patience.

3 of our children have been diagnosed with having an Autism Spectrum Disorder. All three are on the high functioning end of the spectrum, meaning that they are all verbal and physically able to take care of themselves.

But out of all the parents I’ve encountered in my life, those of children on the less functioning side are the embodiment of patience as a form of love.

Autism is hard. Not just for the parent, but for the child as well. They are working together to get beyond the barriers that the child’s brain presents. I would love, if you would take the time to watch the following video. In it an autistic girl and her mother are working on verbalizing a new sound. The mother has a reward for her daughter when she is able to get past her own bodies mental defenses to take control of her own speech and make the sound go past her lips.
It’s hard. Really hard. And this is just one consonant sound!
Click Here to see the video on YouTube

Now, whether or not you believe in this therapy method, one thing is true; this mom and daughter are swimming in patience.

For the mom, she has to not only watch her precious daughter struggle against her own brain, but also have patience for the behavior her daughters brain presents AND be able to separate her feelings for the behavior from her feelings for her daughter.
For the daughter, she is stuck. Even when she is able to recognize the reward, decide she wants it and even desire to please her mother, her brain fights against her. She is in an extremely frustrating mental loop. As she struggles, you see the desire in her eyes, and the pain and frustration in not being able to control her own body and mouth.

This is love.

Patience is not just putting up with annoying people, although it can mean that. Patience as a form of love it much more.
As a form of love, patience means understanding the other person. Knowing their heart. Knowing their intentions. Knowing when their actions are not their heart. Being by their side through the tough stuff, the hard stuff, the heartbreaking stuff. Not calling it quits, even when they want to, but secretly just need you to be the strong one.

God does this for me. I require a great deal of patience. I get a little, let’s say, ‘dramatic’ when I am upset and in prayer. I cry out to God David style, wondering why He let’s me go through all the crap. My melodrama includes phrases like, “Why am I even alive”? and “I serve no purpose!”.
My God is patient.
He listens as I cry out obscenities and incomprehensible words through my tears.
He remains calm as I sob my eyes dry.
But I know, without fail, that in my sleep God restores my soul. Time and time again He has listened to my midnight cries, only to listen to my morning praises.

You and I may not be autistic, but we are all fighting ourselves on a daily basis. We are all fighting against our flesh which would have us sin in every opportunity presented to it, and others that it would seek out!

To have the kind of patience that forms into love, we have to look to our Heavenly Father.
We can not patiently love our lying or cheating coworkers without His help.
We cannot patiently love the teenagers in our lives, who are in a constant battle for their minds and hearts, without His help.
We cannot patiently love our spouse who seems to intentionally think of you last in every instance, without His help.
We cannot patiently love our parents who undermine our adult status on a regular basis, without His help.

How About You?

In what area are people around you required to be more patient?
Who around you could use more patience from you?

Click Here to read the follow up post, Patience is Wisdom in Action

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Love you all!!
Esther Aspling


Forgetting the Innocent When We Hate Our Enemies

My 9 year old son has an Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD and an anxiety disorder. Apparently it’s a common trifecta. All I know is that it is really hard for him.
He takes everything you say to heart, and even extrapolates the meaning. If you pick up a LEGO creation he just made and toss it back in the bin, tell him to shut up, or you don’t listen with 200% attention, you must hate him.
Do I think I hate him? No. But that is how he FEELS, and that is more important.

I had a dream last night. My family was at a local church and we were having fun while hanging out with friends. There were many people, Christian Ed. classes going on. And even a community outreach class to minorities. It was a busy and crowded place, but everyone was having a great time. By all accounts it was a wonderful place to be.
As I was trying to get my 4 year old to cooperate, so we could go home for the evening, he ran into the bathroom. I chased aftrr him, and that’s when reality hit. In every stall a baby or toddler was restained, tied up so tightly with so many things I knew I had to go back to the door and scream for help. While people could hear me, and they even looked towards me, no one came to help. I stood at the door, screaming to no avail.
As soon as I woke up I immediately knew the meaning. We do good things, we are happy, our buildings are full. We even reach out to those around us in the name of love. But we are ignoring the most important thing, locked away and forgotten. The innocent victims.
When we talk negatively of our enemies, we forget about the innocent.
When we talk in generalities, we forget about the innocent.
When we blame entire people groups, we forget about the innocent.
When we press, and press in every avenue of communication, we forget about the innocent.

Like my son, they are hurt by your words.
Like my son, they only feel anger and hate.
Like my son the damage is impossible to calculate.

Even when our intentions are good, our anger justified, and our sorrow real, we forget about the innocent.

Who are the innocent? Your neighbors. The kids in your child’s school. Your coworkers. And anyone who ever has to take the brunt of your viprous tongue.

Instead of planting seeds of love, mercy and grace, you are planting seeds of hate.

Remember when you were 10, and saying nasty things about your sibling?
What did your mom say? Oh yeah, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
And how about this gem, “Say 5 nice things for every negative thing you have said.”

Somehow we expect our children to do these things, but yet in adulthood, in The Church, on social media and in living rooms and break rooms across our world we have forgotten this simple message.

I think it’s time to bring it back. And fast.

If history has told us anything, hatred breeds hatred. It’s a weed. And the only way it can be stopped is if we all work together.


You Can’t Truly Love From Afar

The phrase our church family has been living by this past year or so is, “living among.”

Rather than trying to ‘convert’ people or ‘evangelize’ we are just trying to live alongside people, getting to know them and loving them.

I have always thought that the concept was pretty easy to understand. You spend time with people, you get to know them, understand them and be in a position to love and encourage them.

But recently, I’ve realized just how hard it truly is for us, as humans.

You see, it is in our nature to separate. To segregate. To classify.

A couple of things in the news have me thinking about this. One is the protests of lethal actions against black men by white police officers. The other is a story, local to me in Minnesota, about a state sports league making new rules for transgender students.

I am a straight, white female. I am not now, nor have I ever been black. I have not been harassed or discriminated against about the color of my skin. I have however, as a single teenage mother, been harassed and threatened by police. 

I know that the majority of police officers are sincerely trying to be peace keepers in our nation, and I am grateful for them. But I also know that humans can have negative reactions to people based on senseless observations such as race, age, and gender, among other things.

With this knowledge, I can get a ‘glimpse’ of what some of the black population might be feeling in these situations.

To REALLY understand it better, and to increase my empathy, I would have to inject myself into the problem. I would need to find ways to include myself in the support of the black community, hopefully by befriending more black people. This would be the only way that I could sincerely start to learn and care about how they are feeling, and to learn how to react and support those around me.

The other situation has to do with transgender youth. I do not personally know any transgender people. Therefore I cannot possibly understand the inner turmoil they endure, feeling as though their anatomical gender does not match their inner mental one.

I can imagine that the ridicule they receive for being different from others around them surmounts any struggle I had as a teenage girl feeling awkward in the halls of my high school. I can imagine the difficulty their parents have, trying to support their child while at the same time trying to just figure the whole thing out. No parent wants to be the focus of their child’s future therapy sessions.

The only way that I can even begin to understand the issue, and these families, is to get closer to them. To seek them out and show them love and support. Even if that means elevating the person over the situation.

God gave us a good example in this area. I don’t think God ever had a time where He didn’t love us, but He did need to show us How to love each other, because we are slow, and we should all be riding the short bus.

Just over 2,000 years ago God decided to live among us, in flesh and blood. For Him, living among meant literally making His every day existence here. With us. Next to us. Relative to us. Neighbor to us. Friend to us.

He experienced the things we experience. He dealt with our temptations. He ate what we eat. He drank what we drink. He walked where we walk. He worked where we work.

He didn’t leave His condo on the upper east side to do a ‘mission’ with the less fortunate.

He became one of us.

Living among people is hard. Because people suck. Even Jesus didn’t ‘convert’ everyone He lived among.

As people we can’t expect living among to go smoothly, or perfect, even Jesus’ closest friends lied to Him! We can expect to get lied to, cheated, hurt, and more. 

But if the end result is love. True love. Then I for one am happy to sign up. Even if it does sound horribly cheesy.


How About You?

Who are you afraid to love? How can you push past it?


With love 😉



The Case for Halloween

I grew up in the sticks (Hobbit hole, remember?)

Not only that, but I was religiously sheltered from secular culture as well.

Those two put together meant that I only knew Halloween by name, and didn’t get to enjoy in on the sugar coated hysteria.

So why do I now get my children excited and dressed up for this holiday?

The answer is simple; love your neighbor as yourself.

Let me explain. As my parents loosened up your sheltering grip my brother and I were finally allowed to attend a church harvest party when I was in 7th grade. I got to dress up for the first time as the ever feared French Mime.

This new tradition continued into my own parenting years, with me even being a part in hosting the festivities.

The premise was always the same; give the church kids a chance to have fun while their heathen schoolmates roamed the streets. Sure, we would often use the excuse that kids and families should invite people in, and make the party bigger, but that rarely happened.

The end result was always that neighborhoods were void of these “good Christians”, and those houses were quickly skipped over by trick or treater’s in favor of homes of families who enjoyed seeing children with smiling faces and sparkly costumes.

Last week I talked some about how I had trouble making friends because I had only learned how to look in one place; church. (Click here to read; Looking For Friends in All the Wrong Places)

I grew up with this belief that if I interacted with non-Christians it would somehow cause me to ‘back slide’ and I would be throwing away my Christianity.

But, what if our Christianity is what should be driving us to walk those candy paved neighborhood streets and turn our light on for little goblins and ghouls?


Once a year people are given a social excuse to walk their neighborhood, knock on doors and say hello to all of our unknown neighbors.

Being the extreme introvert that I am, I know just a  couple of those neighbors by name.

If I am to ‘love my neighbor as myself’, shouldn’t I start by getting to know my neighbor?

If I am only ever getting to know the people in my church; their needs, their hopes, their dreams. Where am I leaving time for getting to know the people who immediately surround me?

Christians complain all too often that they don’t have an ‘in’ with people. They don’t have the relationship with people to properly minister to them. Yet, year after year we seclude ourselves behind closed doors hoping that those same people will just come to us.

I think Jesus would have done it differently.

I think He would be out roaming the streets, saying hello to each neighbor He sees.

He’d be out relating to people, probably even getting compliments for his awesome Jonah in the fish costume.

His doorstep would be lit up, with decorations all around. Being a carpenter (laborer) he would have fashioned something pretty awesome to compete with the guy down the street, all in fun to see the children get excited.

He would be handing out the best candy or non-candy toys, and maybe even offering up a little something for the exhausted parents stuck carrying the tired younger siblings block after block.

Loving my neighbor, for me, means making an effort to get to know them. To care about them enough to join them in their celebration. To celebrate with them, just because you love them.

Last year we hosted games, hot dogs and face painting in our cul-de-sac.

This year I’ve upped the ante with a smore’s bar and extremely awesome non-candy prizes.

That’ll be great for the kiddos, but what about the older people in their homes? We’ll be walking door to door, reverse trick or treating. My kids will be making cute crafts and colored pictures to give to all of those past their child raising years, hopefully giving us a chance to get to know them more.

Halloween is what you make it. I choose to make it about loving the people in my neighborhood.

I think love beats avoidance any day.


How About You?

What are your Halloween plans?


Happy Halloween!

Esther :-)


2014-09-30 17.25.37

Looking for Friends in All the Wrong Places

After writing Hiding Behind My Mask I had an epiphany; I’ve been looking for Friends in All the Wrong Places.

But, since those places were where I was taught to look, I had no idea I was doing it wrong.

Growing up in Church culture meant that I was taught to use exclusivity when choosing friendships.

This was backed up with verses such as:

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17


You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James 4:4

But, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make a meaningful connection with the people I found under these constraints.

I mean, it’s not like I live in the corner of nowhere, I live in a decent sized city, with plenty of Christian cross denominational activities for me to search.

But what about all the people who DIDN’T frequent those places? Or the ones who would NEVER have known they even existed?


I didn’t have my first out of church friend until around 3rd grade. Before that I had only been exposed to people at church, and the church my family attended was, well, tiny.

Public school opened up a whole new world of options for me. There were girls who liked math. There were girls who liked science. There were even girls who enjoyed creating forts in the back 40 and live action role playing.

But somewhere around youth group age (think Jr. High and High School) the message from church changed, or maybe it became more intense.

Every parent was in fear for their child’s salvation, and figured the best way to ensure it was to close their kids off to anyone who wasn’t already ‘saved’.

Sure, they might see someone in the halls of their high school, but unless they were telling them the ABC’s of salvation, it was best to just stay away.

This was reinforced by providing Christian friendly alternatives to everything. There was NEVER a need to seek outside the church friendships or entertainment.


Fast forward to adulthood, and I am still stuck in the same rut in the road I was led to.

No science geeks at church? Bummer. God must want me to conform to the hobbies of everyone else! Right?

No artistic messy house ladies who couldn’t pull off a fancy get together to save her life? Bummer. God must want me to channel Martha Stewart and be a good Proverbs 31 woman. 


I had friends in school because I didn’t close myself off to the general population. But as an adult living in Church culture I had shut the door to anyone who might actually relate to me, and who might just not be inside the walls of my church.

Jesus was called a ‘friend of sinners’. They called Him this because the people He hung around, had meals with, and stood up for didn’t hold a real place in their religion.

What if trying to live my life as Jesus lived His includes being a friend of sinners?

What if the close friend I’ve been looking for is at a book group at the public library rather than a Bible study at church?

Now, I’m not saying that our friends have to be carbon copies of ourselves. In fact, my husband and I, while we share some interests, are quite opposite in our abilities and talents. This is why I believe our relationship works so perfectly (yep, I said perfect. I highly doubt you remember my rant last year about Mother’s day)

But what if there is something wonderful that we could learn from the people outside our church walls? What if together we would be able to create something beautiful, like a friendship?

What if that group of atheists who share my love for underwater basket weaving, also share a passion for loving the hurting in our community?

What is that group of Muslims who share my husbands love of bikes also share his passion for helping the poor?

What if the beauty of friendship is not that it is coordinated and highly controlled, but that it can be wild, spontaneous and unsuspecting?


How About You?

When you think about the hole in your current friendships, the spot that no one else understands, where would you look to fill that hole?

What about that place has kept you from seeking friendship there?


Time to make some new friends!

Esther Aspling :-)


Hiding Behind My Mask

When I was a kid I had a hard time with friendship. Mostly that I didn’t understand it a whole lot.

Being a highly intelligent girl meant that my interests were not within a societal norm.

Being a child of the “Jesus Movement” meant I was extremely sheltered.

Being a child of an ADD hippy meant I lived in a hobbit hole (literally a house under a hill) in the middle of woods with no neighbors to learn social skills from.

I got through elementary school just fine. Thankfully there were a few other girls in my school who were just as intelligent and clueless as I was.


Fast forward into adulthood, and not much has changed.

Recently my oldest daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s. After reading all the good books on girls with Asperger’s I came to the conclusion that I must also have it.

I secretly made an appointment for a diagnostic testing.

I was a little surprised and confused when the answer ended up being ADD instead.

And then I was disappointed.

Really? Yes.

Why? Because I would love to have an excuse for why I am still struggling with friendship. Why I still don’t get it.


I’ve tried it all;

I’ve read books.

I’ve tried copying other people.

I’ve changed my ‘look’.

I’ve faked interest in other people’s hobbies.

I’ve read a 1,500 page book over a weekend to share a topic with a group of moms.

I’ve been the ‘yes’ person.

I’ve donated time, money and my talents.

I’ve given my heart and soul to the lives of those around me in an effort to earn their friendship.

Yet, I’ve been unsuccessful.

I go through cycles.

Sometimes I tell myself that all I need is God and my best friend, my husband.

Sometimes I tell myself that my life is too busy anyway. I mean I do have 6 kids and homeschool.

And then every time I go to the same place; I’m not worth it.

I mean, who would want to be friends with me? I’m pathetic!

Maybe if I didn’t try to hard people could stand to be around me.

It’s not only poisonous, it’s degenerative.


Does anyone know? Probably not.

I really doubt people have any idea I’m starving for a close friend. Someone like I had when I was a kid.

Then I had this funny realization; how would anyone know?

Sure, I pour my heart out pretty regularly on this blog, but what about everywhere else?

If you were to scroll my Facebook, Twitter or Instagram you would see a pretty happy (other than the occasional child complaint) adult woman.


So, if I’m not myself on social media, is anyone else?

What about the moms I see at the playground? Or the people at church? What about my neighbors?

Chances are, that many of them too are struggling behind a mask of contentment while their heart is yearning for more, or desperate for change or broken for love.

I have found that many times people are suffering in similar areas without recognizing the suffering of the person next to them. Not only are we good at hiding our own issues, we are good at ignoring others’ as well.


For so much of my life I have put parameters on the relationships that I build. That somehow they must fit inside the prescribed box.

What if it didn’t have to be that way at all?

Jesus was in His early 30’s when He started His ministry. We have NO idea what His personal life looked like before then.

During His ministry most of the people He was surrounded by had absolutely nothing in common with Him.

What if that is the point?

What if we have spent so much time boxing the idea of friendship into incredibly small parameters that we’ve left no room for the possibility of the reverse?

Yes. I am a stay at home mom, I homeschool my kids, I’m married, I have a house, I love science, and I can’t do anything active because of my chronic illness.

But what if the friend I’ve been looking for is younger or older?

Without kids?


Lives in a yurt?

And does marathons?

They will have to love science though. That’s the one standard I can’t let go.   😉


If we are all closing ourselves off, hiding behind our societal masks, a lot of people will be left without someone in their corner. They won’t have someone to help them, to go to bat for them, to care for them or to love them.


How About You?

If you looked at friendship differently, who would you start to include?

You can read the followup; Looking For Friends In All The Wrong Places here!

Still thinking this through,

Esther :-)


Life Sucks, And Then There’s Love

I think the truest test of whether one is truly alive is to see whether or not the person has suffered.

Sometimes it seems as though certain people have more suffering in their life than anyone else around them.

Whether it’s the loss of life, jobs, health, or whatever, their is always someone who has lost more than their share.

But somehow I think that is part of the beauty. Don’t discount me right away, I know it sounds hokey, cheesy, cliche’ and a million other gagging attributes, but hear me out.

For me, life is about the interaction I have with people around me. Being a Christian who follows Jesus I try to live by two commandments given in Luke 10:27 (it’s in other books too, but I like Luke, he was a doctor, a man of science, and I like that).

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.

You can’t really do the second part of that commandment, loving your neighbor as yourself, without interacting with the people around you.

There’s the catch. Interacting with people around you.

You see, people come with all these nasty, uncomfortable, painful, ugly lives. They are full of abuse, addiction, pride, cancer, autism, mental illness, homelessness, and on and on and on.

Loving them, according to these standards so frequently read in 1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love does not envy

Love does not boast

Love is not proud

Love does not dishonor others

Love is not self-seeking

Love is not easily angered

Love keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil

Love rejoices with the truth

Love always protects

Love always trusts

Love always hopes

Love always perseveres.

is hard.

Read that list again. Now think of people living in the ugliness and pain of life. Now read it again.


Often times people talk about how Jesus made it easy when He tossed the old covenant (the Old Testament 10 commandments) and replaced them with the new sleek, streamlined top 2 commandments mentioned above.

I think it’s the opposite. We’re human. Humans do not naturally gravitate to any of those above qualities.  And when we are struggling, going through a hard part of life, we have an even harder time achieving those altruistic definitions of love.

Here’s where I see the beauty.

Imagine putting yourself in a place where you are able to look beyond the horrible nature of your circumstance, to achingly push through your human tendencies, and to love those around you in spite of it all.

We often talk about the definition of heroism being that of doing great things despite fear or surrounding pressure.

What is true love is the same?

What if we aren’t able to experience love in it’s purest form without the struggle?

What if we are unable to love someone UNLESS they or we are struggling through the crappiness of life?

We are always going to experience and witness terrible sadness and grief in this world.

But maybe it’s time we push back.

Dig deep.

Be courageous.

And love.

No matter how much it hurts.